Dreaming

If I could stop having dreams about people I have stopped talking to, that'd be great. Mostly Todd, why have I had dreams about looking for him the last two nights? I haven't seen or talked to him in months and months. And Hayden? He's married and the last time I talked to him was before his mission. And don't even get me started about Braden, I would rather not think about him altogether. It would make my life easier if I just forgot about him for awhile. I just wake up from these dreams wanting to talk to these people that I've pretty much severed ties with and it's no good. Why are they being put into my dreams? Why can't I dream about people that I want to see like Justin or Jen or Kristin&Josh? I would  wake up missing them regardless. Dreams are strange things and I wish I could tell these people that my subconscious misses them enough to put them into my thoughts I have when I can't control my thoughts. That's got to mean something, right? Maybe it just means that I need to meet new people and give up men for awhile. They aren't making it better, anything. Life is hard. 

I have a smoky quality

One of my nearest and dearest told me tonight that I have a smoky quality to my voice and I think that's one of the more interesting compliments I've ever relieved. I wish I loved to sing in front of others more and I had the confidence I lack to sing out loud for all to hear. Someday.