Loss

I remember you. I remember the sarcastic antagonistic manner you hung around our group with. I remember never knowing who you had a crush on any particular week, I remember your cheeky grin. I remember never doubting how deeply you cared for all of us. David Hecker, your death has had a bigger impact on me then I could have anticipated. Oh that I were home and could mourn with those in mourning. Thank heavens for good friends and roommates here who take care of me while I grieve. I miss you, Hecker. Keep that amazing laugh and I'll see you in 80 years, give or take. 

Get it, girl!

I am feeling pretty proud today, look at the difference between those two pictures?!?!! I think this crazy diet and workout regiment is working, what do you think? 

Don't mistake my silence

Don't mistake my silence for timidity, or stupidity, or intelligence, or shyness, or anger, or boredom. I am just here, I am enjoying watching things from the sidelines. I am enjoying seeing all the awkward encounters and conversations of others. I am not above them, I just enjoy seeing how others interact to better know their character. Max is a talker, I am not so much. I prefer silence or music. I think it's from all this time of getting cut off each time I try to tell a story. I like to talk at times, I like to laugh all the time and I like to sing whenever the moment calls for it. I'm confused today and I don't really know what about. So here I sit in silence, reading, occasionally humming and quietly doing my work. Till next time.

Things I've learned from men

From Joe I learned that even when you can see your life with someone, it doesn't mean you marry them. From Pat I learned that people are inherently good, you just have to search for it. From Coulson I learned that those you love most can alter their opinions of you in a heartbeat. From Braden I learned that when you truly love someone in the purest sense of the word it's okay if they stay in your life forever, and to always take time to look forward to things. From Jon I learned that if you treat people like they are it, they will become it. From Taylor I learned that you make the dearest friends in the most unlikely of places. From Ben I learned that hormones aren't all they are cracked up to be and being with someone simply because they look at you with stars in their eyes does not mean you be with them. From Thomas I learned to be sure of myself, even when it wasn't warranted and that simply chemistry is not enough to create a lasting relationship. From Devon I learned to be a better woman, to strive for excellence and to have hope even in the bleakest of circumstance. From Dallin I'm learning that pessimistic and optimistic people can be friends for years and years and that laughing really is the best. From Max I'm learning that if you don't do things you love while dating, you never recover fully and a nice embrace and lengthy conversation are the most blissful ends to the day, or beginning, or middle, or all of those. From Tyler I learned to be sure of myself and stand for what I know to be just and true. And finally, from Christopher I'm constantly learning to be a happier and nicer person, that faults are human, but they shouldn't consume us, that God is good and some people are meant to be in your life forever. 

All in all I've had some pretty wonderful experiences and some pretty dreadful heartbreaks, but here I am, I can do it, I can make it through whatever there is in store for me because I have a Father in Heaven who looks out for me at every turn. 

I could just really use a hug, but here I am too proud to ask for one.