Bad attitude

Lately I've been very focused on getting my pre surgery body back. It's been a hard thing to come to terms with and since these extra 30 pounds weren't going anywhere with my bad eating habits it's been a real wake up call that telling people I don't eat sugary treats and then turning around and eating pull apart Twizzlers like there's no tomorrow wasn't working. 

So! I am trying to hold myself more accountable. Connor gets my debit card when I feel like I can't be trusted to not buy sugary things. I told my coworkers that I'm back on the bandwagon. I've started talking more about healthy eating and exercising. And last and most importantly I have started praying for help because I know. I. KNOW. I cannot do it alone. 

Tonight I was dragging my feet to youth group like I have been for the past so many months while I've been a young women's leader. I didn't know what had been planned and I wasn't feeling a spring in my step. So when I walked into the gym and saw exercise gear clad women and heard mumblings of the word "zumba" I was pretty irked that I had not been informed and was not dressed accordingly. So I drug my feet back out the door to walk home and change. Called my husband, grumbled, called my mom, grumbled some more, got home and saw husband as I was changing, so much grumbling. He drove me back to the church and I changed my attitude. Exercise is good, even if it is not your favorite form. (I'm not a big fan of average Zumba) so I got into it and had a great workout that I hope to be sore from tomorrow. And as I walk walking home (again) I realized that this activity was an answer to my prayers. Heavenly Father used others to prepare an activity that could fit right in to what I had asked for. He is so aware of me and what I hope to accomplish in life. Here's hoping next week that I have a better attitude more early on. 

Temple trip!

Friday night I went on my first adult ward temple trip! Which sounds kinda funny since we go to the temple weekly, but I hadn't been with my ward since going through for myself in May. It was such a joy to look around that completely packed room to see people that over the past 7 months we have gotten to love so fervently. We have truly been blessed and directed to be in this ward at this time. I'm having a hard time facing the reality that we will have to leave this place soonish. I mean, while we were standing in the celestial room (standing room only, there was 80 people in our session) Julie and Laura told us to not give up hope and they were trying to do everything they could to find us a place within the ward. After we left the temple a large group of us went to JCW's and had shakes and fries and lots of laughs. We feel so loved here, I feel so loved here. People talk about how difficult their first year of marriage is and ours has not been without difficulty, but as yet it has been the very best year in my entire life. Surgery and all. My dear sweet caring husband is more than I had ever hoped for and all that I'm glad that I have. This life is hard, but marriage is the good part. 

Orange juice and reggae

This is quickly turning into a "quirky things my husband does" blog. I promise I'll talk about other things eventually. As for today, Connor didn't know how to make orange juice from concentrate so he got a wild hair that he needed to make the frozen stuff in our freezer. We haven't gone grocery shopping in awhile because our fund have depleted and payday is on Friday. So! When he read the instructions on the can he was so confused as to what unit of measurement "3 cans of cold water" meant. It took him a few minutes before he realized what the meaning was. Not 20 minutes later he mentioned something in his school work had to do with questions about reggae, but he didn't know anything about it. So we spent the next ten minutes having a reggae lesson and rocking out. Being married is fun and entertaining and finding out just how different two peoples upbringings can be. 

Root beer

Over dinner tonight Connor informed me that he didn't know until a few years ago that root beer in fact used to mean made from roots, he thought it meant something that you root for, complete with hand motions. I love my husband. When we were waiting for our food to be done at the restaurant I went for a little walk around the building and each time I circled back to where he was he was smiling and having a great time talking to one of the workers. I know why I fall in love with him every day 

It's still winter

 

I was walking home last night and the snow was falling just so and it was warm enough so I couldn't see my breath and everything was quiet. So I put "have yourself a merry little Christmas" by Judy garland on my speakerphone and walked home in peace. 

I'm grateful for quiet moments and for my dear husband waiting to welcome me home. I'm grateful for my calling and all the women that involves. I'm grateful for my old roommates and their zest for life. I'm grateful for my job and the stability it provides for us. I'm grateful for our tiny apartment that we get to look back at with fondness. I'm grateful for my family and their fortitude even when life is hard. I'm grateful for my siblings serving missions. I'm grateful for my siblings not serving missions. I'm grateful that some day we get to serve a mission together. I'm grateful for tv shows that make me feel so much it seeps out of my eyes. I'm grateful for coworkers that give me puzzles. I'm grateful for overtime and the fact that I get to leave work early tomorrow. I'm grateful for a lot of things, think about what you're grateful for and hold on to it. Some day winter will end and the sunlight will bring us hope and joy (then sadness and grouchiness in my case) and we'll seek adventures and grow and learn and be great. Until then we endure the winter. 

I crushed it #anddevon

Thanks Devon and Bri for always encouraging me to crush things! This week I crushed work! I have never had a more productive week and felt more on top of things at work than I do right now. I had two very productive and worthwhile trainings, I finished something that has been hanging over my head till I could get to those trainings, I set up four interviews for next week so we can get someone hired at our front desk. I made better friends with my coworkers, I interacted with patients, I made my boss happy, I made my husband happy, I made myself happy and I even had a little energy left over. Life is busy, but so so good. Thank heaven for the weekend and payday. 

Getting back to it

I have been putting off buying this app for awhile even though I have so much money in my iTunes account that has been sitting there for a year probably. I just needed to do it. And now I have. I have a reminder that goes off on my phone every Sunday at 6:00 pm reminding me to write in my journal. Most of the time I take my physical journal with me to church and do it there, or in my church journal when I get home. Now I have one other option again! 

Connor had his first phone interview with Qualtrics today. It's a pretty large company that runs a survey engine and employs many many computer scientists. I really hope he gets the job and they work with him to allow him an internship this summer and part time during school till he graduates or something. I just want him to have a win. He needs a win. He's finally feeling more on top of things and I just want him to excel because I know he can. Being married to someone means believing in them when they lose faith in themselves. I don't care if no one ever reads this, but I also hope someone does so they can get a little bit of hope or comfort or love from what I write here. Life is hard, life doesn't stop being hard when you get married. Life is hard, marriage is the good part. Believe in good things, work hard, play hard, good things will happen.