Baby steps

1. I made a patients husband giggle with excitement when I offered them snacks at their appointment.

2. I made it through the work day without eating treats. I was strong. 

3. My white chocolate Twix bars got delivered to my house so I'm excited to go home and eat one. 

Today

1. I get to get my eyebrows done tonight!! 

2. I had a nice long chat with my coworker about my feelings today

3. I get to work more hours on Monday to make up for taking time off next weekend.

Three good things

I went to therapy again today, it's so good, life has been harder than I thought it would be. So my therapist suggested the tried and true method of writing down three good things that happened each day. So for today, 1. I went to the temple 2. I got to eat bacon 3. Connor read Fablehaven to me when we got home. 

I think this will be a good exercise to change my brain chemistry, to help me not feel so misplaced at work and to help in my general thankfulness in life. I am so very blessed, now if my depressed brain could just figure that out we'd be in business! 

Also, the clinic messed up my labs so I had to go in and get them redrawn complete with repeat urine sample today so it'll be a couple more days till we find out if I have celiacs disease. Woot! 

Waiting room

My silly body has been feeling like it's failing me so here I am sitting in the waiting room at the family medicine clinic who was SO great and got me in at a ten minute notice. I'm grateful to work at the hospital. I've gone home early twice this week (something I never do!) and been feeling pretty crummy overall so I'm grateful to be making steps in the right direction. Cross your fingers for me. 

New apartment

We have so much room to move around that I don't even know where to start. Well, a washer and dryer is probably a good place. We'll get there. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bad attitude

Lately I've been very focused on getting my pre surgery body back. It's been a hard thing to come to terms with and since these extra 30 pounds weren't going anywhere with my bad eating habits it's been a real wake up call that telling people I don't eat sugary treats and then turning around and eating pull apart Twizzlers like there's no tomorrow wasn't working. 

So! I am trying to hold myself more accountable. Connor gets my debit card when I feel like I can't be trusted to not buy sugary things. I told my coworkers that I'm back on the bandwagon. I've started talking more about healthy eating and exercising. And last and most importantly I have started praying for help because I know. I. KNOW. I cannot do it alone. 

Tonight I was dragging my feet to youth group like I have been for the past so many months while I've been a young women's leader. I didn't know what had been planned and I wasn't feeling a spring in my step. So when I walked into the gym and saw exercise gear clad women and heard mumblings of the word "zumba" I was pretty irked that I had not been informed and was not dressed accordingly. So I drug my feet back out the door to walk home and change. Called my husband, grumbled, called my mom, grumbled some more, got home and saw husband as I was changing, so much grumbling. He drove me back to the church and I changed my attitude. Exercise is good, even if it is not your favorite form. (I'm not a big fan of average Zumba) so I got into it and had a great workout that I hope to be sore from tomorrow. And as I walk walking home (again) I realized that this activity was an answer to my prayers. Heavenly Father used others to prepare an activity that could fit right in to what I had asked for. He is so aware of me and what I hope to accomplish in life. Here's hoping next week that I have a better attitude more early on. 

Temple trip!

Friday night I went on my first adult ward temple trip! Which sounds kinda funny since we go to the temple weekly, but I hadn't been with my ward since going through for myself in May. It was such a joy to look around that completely packed room to see people that over the past 7 months we have gotten to love so fervently. We have truly been blessed and directed to be in this ward at this time. I'm having a hard time facing the reality that we will have to leave this place soonish. I mean, while we were standing in the celestial room (standing room only, there was 80 people in our session) Julie and Laura told us to not give up hope and they were trying to do everything they could to find us a place within the ward. After we left the temple a large group of us went to JCW's and had shakes and fries and lots of laughs. We feel so loved here, I feel so loved here. People talk about how difficult their first year of marriage is and ours has not been without difficulty, but as yet it has been the very best year in my entire life. Surgery and all. My dear sweet caring husband is more than I had ever hoped for and all that I'm glad that I have. This life is hard, but marriage is the good part.