The "Holbrook" is eternal

Monday, April 29, 2013

Missing

Something is missing and I'm mostly sure it's Braden. And Christie. And cold weather. And decent sleep. And my left shoe. And my desire to cook.
Combined these a raise quite the dilemma. I'll deal with them tomorrow, for now I should sleep and empty my mind of things of the world.
I am still missing those things however.

Thursday, April 25, 2013

And then Siri

So there is the awesome feature on iPhone 4S that is called Siri, mostly you just ask it ridiculous questions and everything turns out funnier. I bought an iPhone 4S today and that has been happening all afternoon :) it's been a lovely day to be alive. I hope someone out there reads these posts and grins every so often because of how truly laughable my thoughts are. No, but really, I laugh at myself all the time. It keeps me young.

Monday, April 15, 2013

So you all know exactly how pathetic I am

I'm just not through loving him quite yet.
I was chatting with my mother and she asked me about the people in my life and when I mentioned a dumb boy she's heard a lot about she was taken by surprise and asked me why I allowed him to remain in my life and my simple answer was, "I'm just not through loving him quite yet" Which is true. I think we've got more Sunday dinners and more inside jokes, more dates and silly encounters, more laughing and more loving to do together before we're ready to go out on our own.
The thing that really gets me is how I can feel so at peace with him next to my side and when he's gone I just wish for him to be back again, but I know it's not that way for him. Unrequited love. What a terrible thing.

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Friday was the birthday of my brother

Today was Casey Joes birthday. He would be 28 if he were still alive on this earth today. It's crazy to think that 15 years have gone by since he got that skateboard for his thirteenth birthday. I still remember that and how it hung over my dads workbench for much of my growing up and adult life. I try to remember things about him and I tell people stories of my childhood from when he was alive and talk about my older brother as if I know him as well today as five year old me did back then. Linnea posted 15 pictures she scanned when she was home of our cute little family back then and in most of them I'm sitting on his lap or he's holding me or touching me in some way. He was the typical big brother and my very best friend in the whole world. Never will I look at a can of pork and beans again without being reminded how much he loved them. Or put barbecue sauce on anything without thinking about how he put it on everything. How he came back that day he was taken from us and told my mom he loved her before re-embarking on his journey to Jeb Snows house. I wish I had more memories and I'm sure in the eternities I'll be able to make many many more, but for now these are the things I remember. And how we all spent time together often. I have a distinct memory of us all pretending to be flying in a hula hoop in the front room of our house. I wish I could remember more and maybe as I think on it harder and longer I'll remember all of the things that made everyone he came in contact with, love him.
I remember everything from the day he died and on the day of his funeral, it's interesting how our lives start out with memories from traumatic events. I don't remember many distinct events from around that time either. Sad to say the ones I do remember aren't very happy. And someday soon I'll write them all down so I can remember my early years and the things we did that left their mark on me and my life.
I'm sorry I'm not a very happy blogger tonight, but blogging just the same.
Happy Birthday, my dearest older brother and best friend, Casey Joe Holbrook. You are dearly missed and thought about often. I'm grateful I got to visit the temple today because I am sure that's what you would have me do. I feel closer to you while I'm there and happier about my life after this because I know I'm making the right choices.
Until next time, I'm yours

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Be aggressive! Passive aggressive!

So my best friend, Christie and I have this problem with being passive aggressive when it comes to our roommates. I have had fairly great relationships with most of them in the past and am really making an effort to amend my ways with Alice. I love her and I shouldn't be the way I have been towards her. Anyway, that's why the post is called be aggressive! Passive aggressive because first off it's a line from my favorite movie of the year (perks of being a wallflower) and it's just a really great cheer. Ways that I have used to a negative end can now be put to use being positive as uplifting. With general conference just around the corner(I'm so excited!!!) I know they're going to talk about things that can make our lives uplifted and I'm just getting a head start on it. Besides, I know that Casey would want me to be the best version of myself and I can't be that while still harboring angst towards my friends. It's always a process I suppose.
Today I am happy because it feels like Alaskan summer outside. It's a lovely 68 degrees and the wind is blowing through the house making it just the right temperature. And I think I need to take a nice leisurely bike ride in the heat to make this day the best it could possibly be. What a day off! :)

Monday, March 25, 2013

Blogging from my phone

Did you know that blogger has an app? I had no idea till yesterday and now I've decided it's my favorite thing! I guarantee I'll be blogging more in the coming weeks and months due to this wonderful invention!

Exciting times in the life of Sabrina:
Braden's brother, Travis, is marrying the lovely holly Hightower this weekend and they are both so excited I can hardly stand it! Their children are going to be really really ridiculously good looking :) which they've both affirmed to me at different times. I'm just so excited because I've had their announcement on my fridge for months and learned about it quite a long while before then. It's going to be lovely!
Christopher has decided not to be the most easy to access friend so we haven't had a real conversation in a month. I miss him. And I'm sad he doesn't put forth the effort he used to. It'll all work out.
Casey Joes birthday is on Friday and Christie and I are having a party with the two of us to celebrate! I've been off the last few weeks and I attribute it to that. I miss Casey too.
Happy Monday! My work day is over!
To write again soon!