Bummed

Some days you don't get the apartment and the dentist can't fit you in and your wedding announcements don't come in the mail like they were supposed to and your roommates start watching Star Trek at top volume at 10:30pm, but then you remember that you are engaged to marry the man of your dreams and your sweet cousin made you dinner while she was here visiting from China and you got to get your baby fix by playing with little lotte and Mitchell gave an excellent lesson for FHE and you got to smooch your Fiancee for a few minutes before you both rushed off to do the rest of your endless to do lists. Life is hard, marriage is easy. 

Timpanogos

Today I told that man that I love that I intend to be a blanket hog, but it'll be fine since we snuggle anyway. We also hiked 3/5ths of the way up timpanogos which is much farther than I thought I was capable of, I hope I'm sore so I can feel like I earned it. 9 miles is no small number to hike up a mountain. I feel so blessed to have marvelous friends and a fantastic Fiancee that are up for adventures like those! 

I just want the world to know

I had the sweetest most unexpected moment just now and I want to write about it before I forget. Connors aunt emailed me asking a few questions, but also letting me know that something from my registry was being sent to my house! SOOOO I went on to check and see what it was and THEY BOUGHT ME A KITCHEN AID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I gasped, I checked it again then the tears of joy came followed almost immediately by me calling that man I love to share the fantastic news with him! We're going to mix ALLL the things!!!!!! I'm going to be a real live wife with a real live kitchen that has a real live kitchen aid in it! Can't hardly wait!! 

Wisdom

All anyone told me before I went in to get my wisdom teeth out is how much it hurts. They didn't tell me that a week later after my pain pills were gone I would still want to cut my cheek/jaw off with a knife. They didn't tell me that it causes an ache you can feel in your jaw but also in your soul, like you'll never be happy again. They didn't tell me that I can't properly kiss my fiancé with feeling like I'm dying. They didn't tell me that holding a phone on my ear, even if it's the opposite ear is incredibly painful. They didn't tell me that talking is exhausting and if you have things to say you may as well write them down because typing doesn't hurt. They didn't tell me that sleeping is the worst, you can give up on a full nights rest and count on just a few hours of semi relief here and there. They didn't tell me that I would have blood taste in my mouth for the entire week after. They didn't tell me that my teeth would feel grimy no matter how much I brushed them, they didn't tell me when I brushed them I would find more blood and it would feel like my teeth next to the surgery scars would feel like they were hanging by threads. They didn't tell me that going back to work would be the most exhausting thing I would do all year including serious bouts of depression. What I'm getting at is they didn't tell me a lot, but I'm grateful they're out and I don't have to worry about it anymore because you only do it once and the antibiotics counteract birth control so it's a good thing I'm doing this before I get married and mess with reproductive powers. Overall not the worst experience of my life, but I would very much like to curl up in a ball and whine about how much my face hurts while getting some good numbing agents to knock me out while I sleep. I just want sleep and 5 hours broken into chunks doesn't really do the trick. Here's to another 10 hour day tomorrow and the fun doesn't stop there. Man I miss kissing. 

Two months and two days

I went to witness my very first sealing today! Connors cousin Ben married a beautiful girl named Catherine and I cried for most of it. Connor makes me feel so loved and desired and cherished that sitting in that beautiful place with him while a person he loves made an eternal commitment was so overpowering that I couldn't help but envision our sealing and how wonderful that day will be for us. Oh my goodness it's so soon and I'm so grateful we have had ample time to be comfortable with each other and things flow and our families love us and we love us and Heavenly Father is watching out for us and everything is just marvelous! That being said, I want so badly to be married like tomorrow. My roommate told me that I have to take elopement off the table haha I can't elope (cue pun) I'm only doing it once, I might as well do it right that one time! Goodness I love him, I can't imagine anyone better suited for me and me for him. I love him, I'm excited about him. I'm looking forward to a long and happy life with him. 

Been awhile

Sad things are amplified when you see your engagement photos and you don't see the skinny girl you thought you had become. Well, that's sad. Oh well. I thought I had made so much progress! And maybe I had further to come than I realized? Or maybe I just haven't toned well enough? Or maybe I'm just short and squatty and that's all there is to it. 

Feeling pretty low and my loud roommates while I'm trying to think good thoughts and unwind are not helping. Thank heaven Connor loves me and my shapes and my round face and my non existent chin line and my lopsided belly. Oh goodness. I want to go run 20 miles. I thought the constant plank was helping and push ups and biking to work and eating right and taking the stairs and drinking water and all these things I do on a daily basis. What the heck?! Come on! I did so well last year, what the heck?!?!! It doesn't help that I'm on the eve of blood moon and feel crummy in general today. Hmpf. 

6 months ago

I sat next to a boy I liked on a couch and put my head on his shoulder while he studied and I read. Little did I know that day would change the rest of my eternity. Respect grew to like, like grew to love, love grew to marriage and sealed together for time and all eternity. If I have learned anything from Connor it's that God has it figured out and we have to much potential in our faith, charity, love, understanding and goodness that we know no bounds. Here we are six months later engaged to be married and three months away from that blessed day! I'm so grateful for Coco and her friendliness and the fact that she invited people over to our house that day and that Connor was one of them. I'm so grateful to Mike Carter for placing Connor as my home teacher and listening to the spirit in that endeavor. I'm so grateful for Connor for taking a leap and seeing me for what I'm trying to be, for loving me almost instantly, for being forgiving and understanding and full of goodness towards me and others, for persevering and making his one romantic relationship something to write home about. I feel so lucky and blessed to be around these past six months and to get into marvelous habits and search for life and love together. In six months from now I'll be married and be on the eve of my 24th birthday. Time flies when you're having fun.