I'd rather not

Yesterday I decided to drive for a couple hours around Utah lake, it was beautiful, but not in the way I was hoping for. It was wonderful to be on a road with no other people for the first time in a long time, I yelled and screamed and laughed and sang at the top of my lungs, it's good to let go, freeing somehow. As I was nearly done I received a text from a friend I've been avoiding so I figured it was high time to call him. We chatted for a bit and I fell right back into his charms. It's unfortunate how I have no staying power at all, one conversation and I'm planning our future again. It'll be alright, I'll figure it out. I also found out one of my best friends is in the hospital so we made fun cards with construction paper and crayons writing only with our left hands to take him when we visit him today. I hope he's entertained by how silly they are. It's no fun to be in a hospital, but maybe we can make it a little bit better for him. Poor thing. I also found out yesterday that they're having a Holbrook family reunion in Emmett, ID this weekend and I was just left out of the planning or inviting or anything. It's unfortunate, really that I'm not invited with my own family. I wish that were different. I'll work on that.