I'm uneasy

Apparently I'm not getting the recognition I want on other social media outlets because most people in my regular time zone are asleep, come to think of it so are the people in this one. I should really go to sleep, but oh my goodness I have too many thoughts going through my brain! Such as; Devon comes home NEXT WEEK!!! Less than a week from now and hopefully I'll be losing sleep talking to him, oh please let him like me, please please let him like me. The thoughts on him abound, but like I said "too many thoughts going through my brain" so next is; it's my last night sleeping at Jens house. I'm not ready for this, I mean I want to go home and it'll be good to have responsibilities again, plus I am ashamed at the amount of workig out I haven't done on this trip, but going home seems so sad. This has been a fantastic trip and I really have done almost everything I wanted to do. I spent time with people I thought I'd never see again and going home is lovely. I have all day tomorrow to finish up odds and ends because my flight doesn't leave till 1:10am Sunday. Third thing; what do I do once I get home? Work will be a nightmare, but I can't think about that yet. My roommates, oh I already don't want to tell people about my trip. I am such a weird person. I want to be recognized, but I don't want to be the center of attention. Explain that one to me. I wish I had spent more time with Ben and Liz and their sweet sweet babies. I am weepy all of the sudden. Life is good and things are beautiful and I am so blessed to have afforded to take this trip. But saying goodbye is always hard and not knowing when I'll be back is not one of my favorite things. I know I'll be back here, it's my home, it's where my heart yearns to be. And maybe, just maybe if I am lucky and work really really hard, Devon will love me and then he will be my home. 

Goodnight, dear void, the anticipation is giving me an ulcer. Pah!