I should be sleeping

But I just keep thinking about how amazing things are! 6:00 comes awful early and yet, I just want to lie here and day dream about Connor and our trip to California and being with him at Disneyland and being with him in the temple and being with him and his family and getting to know them and being with him with my family in Idaho and being with my extended family the other night and being with him while we watched the super bowl today and being with him when he does homework and being with him when we go grocery shopping and being with him at church and being with him when I need a blessing and being with him in life and in love and forever. I keep saying things like that and I find myself staring at him and thinking, this really is it, this is everything I've hoped for all my life. Mary was talking with us today about how Jason says things that make her uneasy or unintentionally hurt and after Connor turned to me and asked if I feel that way about anything he does. I thought about it for a long while and there's really not. Even when he doesn't say it I know he loves me and thinks I'm beautiful because his actions speak so much louder than words. I know he knows I'm human and trying and I'm not perfect, but I hope to attempt to be. I know he loves the little things about me that I always hoped someone would. I love the fact that he loves my squinty eyes, I don't think I can properly describe how much I adore that fact! I have been keeping a running list of all the reasons I love him and it just keeps getting longer the better I know him. I hope to be a good enough woman in his and Christs eyes to be his eternal companion. I hope to lift him up and buoy his spirits. I hope to work together with him to raise our family. I hope to make him feel cherished and cared for always. I hope to be better at talking and accepting compliments. There are many great things ahead.