My dreams when I'm asleep are of Devon. My dreams when I'm awake are of Devon. It's funny how your subconscious works. I went to sleep thinking about him and yearning for him to be here last night and woke up this morning from a dream where a different man had proposed to me with the biggest gaudiest ring I've ever seen. And yet, it was missing a diamond because he said he knew I didn't like big diamonds. So there was just a hole in the center where the diamond would have gone and Devon was in the crowd when I was proposed to by this stranger. He just looked sad, destroyed even. And I just wished with all my might to change it, that it would be my Devon on one knee in front of me willing us to spend the rest of eternity together. I know I'm supposed to live in the present, but for now, my present starts in 5 months.
I know whoever reads this probably gets sick of me writing about this Devon boy. He hasn't been here for the past 20 months, but he'll be back! Soon! Soon! Soon! It gives me something to hold on to when I am alone. I can't even begin to tell you the hours of prayers and thoughts I have had to help me hope for that blessed day five months from now.
For today I still have five months to make myself better, to be fitter, to pray harder, to learn more, to make more money, to touch more lives and to give others the chance to touch mine.
I have a lot of goals this year and I am looking forward to make each of those happen. I can make it happen with the help of Christ who strengthens me.
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