Not only do I try, I do.

He called me on the phone, that is so rare and wonderful! I noticed the other day that when I'm around Connor I don't have those angsty feelings that are not foreign to me. I seriously become a better person. It's not something I'm trying to do to win him over or impress him, I genuinely am happier, have not so many complaints, all the angst leaves me and all that is left is love for the world around me. Now if only I could hold on to that all the time. THAT is the goal. To really become the person I strive to be and see glimpses of, I want to have overflowing love for those around me, not so much that I don't see their faults, but that I love them and their faults. Plus it's snowing, this is my best day.